On the next day of Christmas

My true love gave me:

dangerous goods such as,

compressed gases,

flammable, non flammable,

poisonous ideas, corrosives,

acids, an extinct volcano,

dresden dolls in matching outfits,

an eviction votive candelabra,

genetically modified food, 

the time of day,

a recycled Chinese ideogram,

a punctuation symbol,

alkalis and wet cell batteries,

etilogic agents,

a one-hour massage using a bulldozer,

oxidizing materials 

explosive bacteria,

viruses,

mutant fireworks,

flares,

a radio active box of chocolates,

a book of poetry from the reality zone,

and dark energy.

Happy satirical giving.

Metta.

A $154 million dollar toilet

The space saga continues. As I reported in my last greasy message, I lost my tool kit while trying to fix a bad joint. Ze bag is (was) worth $100,000. I am offering a reward for it's return. No questions asked. It was last reported to be floating approximately 212 miles above Earth.

Meanwhile I have been installing a new urine convertor machine on the ISS

It cost a cool $154 million bucks. Now I know in these turbulent economic times when the average planetary inhabitant is living in a shack with an outhouse, riding a bike, using candles for light, eating baloney and afraid to get sick because they have absolutely ZERO heath care insurance the cost of my toilet may seem slightly extreme.

I can justify it. Watch and listen closely. It is a miracle of technology. 

It converts urine into drinking water!

Yes, that's correct. It turns urine into H2O (when it's working)...Astonishing! Amazing! Delicious! Urine on the rocks, straight up.

Why is this necessary? The ISS currently can support three living creatures. Brains on the ground would like to increase the population by three to six, requiring, according to their math genius, the necessity of having a $154 million dollar bathroom to expedite the conversion of urine into drinking water. Kinda like reverse osmosis.  

Their rationale is that, with six homo sapiens on board, it will be too expensive in the long haul to transport drinking water to the ISS, so they concocted this elaborate urine-water machine. Wow!

To support their never ending research and development NASAL will be offering, for a limited time only, just in time for the holiday season, a heavily discounted stripped down modified version of their urine-water convertor to JQ public. Initial design mockups with corresponding price categories will be available by Thanksgiving.

Metta.

 

Spooky

So, the story goes. Once upon a time there was a chemist, physicist and economist out in a boat for a picnic.

One of them took out a soda bottle, "Whoops," they said, "we forgot the opener."

"No problem," said the chemist. "Just shake it up and the pressure will blow the top off."

"I have a better idea," said the physicist, "lean it at an angle until the heat from the sun creates pressure and the gas will force the top off."

"Excellent suggestions gentlemen," said the economist. "However, I suggest we assume we have an opener."

Metta.

Doing the Mango tango

 I go, we go, you go.

Mango. Super Fruit. Buy one, peel it down. Savor the succulent mass of alfa bet your sweet antioxidents.

A, C, E.

Ace a mango.

The humility of a mango. How the skin releases it's interior dally daily dialogue.

Being unknown. Practice flowing sensations, this dancing mango simplicity. 

Mr. Mango said, "Remember, there are two kinds of people in the world."

"What are they?" wondered a child.

"There are people who want to blame you and people who want to distract you."

"I see," said the child. "You mean, according to the philosopher, Damon Young, 'distraction is chiefly an inability to identify, attend to what is valuable, even when we are hard working or content.'"

"Yes," that is what I mean," laughed Mr. Mango doing the tango with some Taoist monks.

Metta.

 

Majestic opticians

Well now, as the tropical sun sets on another day on paradise it was, "Wear a small bright star on your forehead experience."

Just to see what children, and some adults might say, out of shock, amazement and pure delight.

So, in class a girl asked, "Why are you wearing a star on your head?" Others asked the same question. Mind you it was a bit unusual.

"Well," I said, " I get up early every morning and this morning about 5 a.m. I was up and I went outside in my front yard to admire the beautiful flowers, amazing trees, say hello to Mr. Brown, the frog and see all the amazing stars in the clean black sky. One star in particular was dancing around and saw me way down below. And the star said, 'may I come down and go with you to school to meet kids and adults and have a look around Earth?'"

"Wow! Sure," I said, "that would be fantastic. Come on down and I will take care of you."

"Hmm," said the star. "Well, it sounds like I can trust you, however, I have one request. At the end of the day will you be sure and bring me back with you so, when it's dark I can return to my friends and family in the sky?"

"Yes, I will."

"Ok then," said the star. "I will spend the day with you."

The star flew down and rested on my forehead. It was a bright orange and small. Small and powerful. All day long primary and elementary students, especially my students asked about the star and I shared this story with them. 

Later in the afternoon while walking along a hallway with a young man he turned and asked," what happens to the star if you forget to go outside or fall asleep tonight?"

"Good question," I answered. " I will be sure and go outside after dark so the star can return home."

Star light, star bright...