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Thursday
May212009

Essay test questions

Greetings,

Tomorrow is the Big day. Grade 4 kiddies take their end of the year sale unit test. The focus is on reading comprehension, listening and language arts. The speaking opportunity is next week. Everything must go! 

It covers the final two chapters - history, time lines, bar graphs, maps, giraffes, gaffs, staffs and laughs. 

Language Arts Essay Questions

Instructions. Read the questions. Answer the questions using complete sentences.

1. Why do you think it might be good to know your street address? Please explain.

2. When might you need a map? Can you tell why.

1. It's probably a good idea to know my street address inside the heavily fortified gated community on the old banana plantation because that's where older moronic perverse pedantic people take care of me. Actually two of them, the ones who connived me during a lustful interlude ten years ago leave early to make money. They take me shopping on weekends to reduce their abandonment guilt.  

The other two - a comedy team from Vegas - do all the heavy lifting: washing, cleaning, cooking and rearranging antimatter. They pack my lucky lunch and tons of textbooks in a rolling suitcase, drive me to school in a black shiny SUV - the place surrounded by bamboo pavilions - and leave me alone to play with my catatonic friends and yell at high decibels.

I love noise and confusion and yelling. It's the only way to get people to pay attention to me!

2. The map is not the territory.

I hope I pass this test. My parents promised me a fantastic new toy if my score is higher than a bird can fly.

Metta.